Ideas and Opinions

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Reality Dream Reality

I am getting conscious of my surroundings now. I can feel the heat, I can smell, I can hear voices around, I can feel the love of my parents, I can even dream. They are not pleasant, I always die at the end of the dream. It is painful. I am bewildered and I don't know where I am. My dreams are so real, it makes me wonder if this is a dream too and am I going to die in this? I don't know. I am just going to sleep. Perhaps if I sleep in my dream, I can wake up in my reality. But if this is my reality then I will start dreaming again.

"When I look in to your eyes ... I can feel the love restrained ..." Ah! now that's a beautiful song to jog for. It's a fine weather today and too bad I had to work till 7 in the evening. But I decided to do my evening Jog inspite of that and I am glad I decided so. Who wouldn't want to Jog in this perfect weather with a mild breeze and a great song on the radio. huh ... huh ... huh ...(panting is heared for a while)...great ... the light is green for me, let me quickly cross the road now before it turns red. screeechhh.... ahhhhhh...(a car runs over him)

Oh God! Another dream of death. I think I accidently kicked on the wall. Where am I now? looks like the same place. It feels like eternity. It feels like I will be here forever with dreams torturing me. I am only hoping this is not another dream. So far this has been pleasant. But all my dreams start very pleasantly and ends with me dying. I still want to hope this is not a dream. I am smelling my favourite now, it tastes great and I have had this several times. I just don't know what it is.

"Vande Mataram!" Shouts of this slogan was heard everywhere. I lead my group of men in the huge crowd with an air of freedom slogans filling the entire nation. The police charged upon the crowd. One of the police was working his way with his Baton and as I walked raising both my hands and shouting "Vande Mataram!" the baton hits across my face with full force, breaks my nose and fractures my face. Blood gushes out of my face and after that I can't hear anything. Everything was silent, as though someone had muted the entire world. I lose my balance and my eyes are pondering over the crowd, the police, the trees, the sky … until I see some familiar faces approaching him. I see them shouting something but I am unable to hear. I am weakly feeling them holding me. The light fades in front of my eyes.

And I wake up again as I let go my bladder. "When I look into your eyes ... I feel the love restrained...uuhh" Oh God! I hear this song again ..."Darling when I hold you ... Don't you know I feel ..." sounds like the same song from my dream. I am scared now!

I fall asleep in my bedroom. I still feel body pain. Ok, Let me think of Happy moments. Oh god I can't breath. This is something serious ... I can't move out of my bed. I can't open my eyes ... oh God save me!. Let me try to get the phone. Oh no, I can't move my left hand, I am feeling heavy there. Let me try again ... noooo.....ahhh...My right hand..I'll use my right hand ...I can't reach the phone ... I can't shout help! Ahhh my chest is paining now .....

And I wake up again. Wow! This is the only dream in which I didn't die. But it felt like I was dying. Hopefully I didn't die. There it goes again, I think it is time for the water to cycle. It has been dirty for a while now and I don't have much space to move around. Oh no ... The water is receeding, it is going out. Can someone tell me what's happening around here ...! Mom why are you screaming now. Oh God! Please help me, I am slipping down I am not sure what is going to happen to me. Ok, now my head has hit the wall, I hope it stops here. I am alright now Mom, don't scream. Why is she still screaming?

I throw up. I close my eyes and I see the black sky with a lonely star. The star is approaching me, closer and closer and is swirling in to form a tunnel and fills up the entire sky. Someone is pulling me into the tunnel. This is immensely painful.

And I wake up again and cry. Oh! I am born.

The above story is a sequel to my earlier story - JOE KARTHIKEYAN. If you guessed it right it is Karthikeyan narrating his experience in the womb. I hope you like it.